Bobby Confesses the Embarrassing Name He Gave His First Car

I'm going back to my high school days for my latest Cubicle Confession. Unlike many of my confessions (especially my last one), this is not something gross, it does not involve any bodily functions, but it somewhat embarrassing. I say "somewhat" because I'm not 100% convinced that I am embarrassed - but then, when I actually hear the words coming out of my mouth, I do get a wee bit embarrassed.

Let me give you this quick setup. Back in high school (the early '90s), my buddies and I were really into R&B and hip-hop - not only the music but also the fashion and the lifestyle. In my case, my love of all things urban included my car. My first car was a 1990 Oldsmobile Cutlass Calais. That car gave me and my buddies a bunch of great memories. I loved that car, and I wanted to show my love by giving her (the car) the perfect name. Just referring to my car by her name wasn't enough. I was proud of her and wanted everyone else to know my girl's name - so I had to get a special license plate with my girl's name on it. So, what was that car's name? That, my friends, was CHANTE' (you can't forget the accent mark).

Why Chante'? I honestly don't know. I didn't know anyone named Chante', real or fictional, I guess I just liked the sound of it, and I imagined a girl with that name would probably be pretty hot. Chante' came with me down here to Evansville as I began my higher education at the University of Southern Indiana. After a while, Chante' started to have some problems (I put a bunch of miles on her going to and from Indy, and I didn't take care of her), and eventually she and I had to part ways. I finally settled on a new car - it was a beautiful, dark green Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme, and oh man was she sexy, so I had to pick a name that was fitting. This time around I was inspired by a real person, kinda, sorta. It's more like I was inspired by a movie character that was portrayed by a real-life person who I very much had a crush on. That person was Tyra Banks - now, in my defense, 1995 Tyra Banks was way hotter and way less crazy than modern-day Tyra. If you want to know the name she inspired, you either need to watch the video of my confession, or you'll need to find the name of the character she played in her first big-screen role, in 1995's Higher Learning.

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I can't believe I've written this much about naming my friggin' cars. I swear it feels like I just started, and the words just keep flowing. But now I'm spent, and I think I've said all I want to say about my girls.