I Accidentally Grew a Not-Safe-For-Work Carrot in My Garden

Ron Rhodes has his famous "Funky Fruit" segment each morning on Eyewitness News Daybreak, and it looks I could start my own "Naughty Vegetables" segment.

I've only tried growing a garden a handful of times. We had a small backyard at our house on the north side of Evansville and tried growing a couple of pepper plants in pots, but didn't get much of anything from them. When we moved into our current house in Newburgh, which has a much bigger backyard than our old house, three years ago I decided to take another crack at it, so I built a roughly eight-foot by four-foot garden box and have tried more peppers, some cucumbers, and tomatoes. Again, with mixed results. I didn't mess with it last year but decided to give it another go this spring.

This time I decided I'd plant things I know we'd eat, so I went with a few broccoli plants, carrots, onions, three bell pepper plants, and a jalapeno plant. Tuesday evening I went to water it and noticed a few bell peppers and several jalapenos were ready to be picked. There was also the top of a carrot or two peeking through the soil, so yanked those out of the ground and did a little inspection of the other carrots to see if they were ready too. I decided they all were and proceeded to harvest them. Here's the thing, I had never planted carrots before, so I read over the planting instructions on the seed pack when I planted them in late April. It suggested "thinning out" the plants as they grow to prevent them from growing together. Guess what I didn't do?

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Most of what I pulled Tuesday evening were single carrots that look like the kind you buy at the grocery store. But there was one that was clearly different. When I pulled it from the ground I thought it looked like a pair of legs connected to the lower half of a body. Kind of like a zombie movie where one of the zombies gets their top half blown off, but the nerve endings still allow the legs to take a few steps before it collapses. Then I flipped it over to discover a hilarious surprise.

Maybe it's just the way my brain works, but what I saw appeared to be a somewhat "anatomically correct" vegetable. Take a look and see if you think the same thing.

Am I wrong, or does that look like what I immediately thought it looked like? If there were such a thing as "girl carrots" and "boy carrots," this one would definitely be a boy.

Truth be told, this isn't the first crazy carrot I've pulled this year. A couple of weeks ago I pulled what I call an elephant carrot and a chicken foot carrot.

My plan is to plant more carrots again next spring. And, if you think I'm going to thin them out again next year, you're wrong. I want to see what other crazy shapes I can get.