Is Your Compliment a True Compliment or Planting a Seed Of Doubt? #DontBlockMyBlessing
Compliments, they can be a funny thing... We may think we are giving someone a compliment, something to brighten their day, but instead, maybe we are planting a seed of doubt in their head.
When I was younger I used to say, "You look great for 50!" or "When I'm 50, I want to look as good as you!" I had the best of intentions -- they looked great. I meant it. But I don't know if that's how they received it. But I didn't realize this it until it happened to me.
After I had triplets I heard OVER and OVER again, "You look great for having triplets!" What? I mean, what am I supposed to look like? And do I not just look great? Why can't I just look good, for me? What I knew, when they told me that, was that I'd worked really hard in the gym and was doing my best to look good, for me!
And not too long ago I heard from a 20-something woman, "You look great for 35!" For 35? I mean, I am 35, but would I not look great if I was 30 or 25? I have two takeaways from these compliments thoughts: ALWAYS take a compliment. I'm always going to be grateful for a compliment. No reason to allow myself to doubt the intentions: I look great. I'm going to accept the compliment and not shut it down. The second thought is to try to give my compliments without the qualifier: You look great! Period!