Can Separate Bank Accounts Actually Make for a Happier Marriage?

Can Separate Bank Accounts Actually Make for a Happier Marriage?

Here's a question for you. Do you and your spouse share everything financially? I mean everything. One checking account, one savings account, one budget, and one credit card statement where somebody eventually asks, "What is this charge?"

Or are you more like my husband and me? We've been together for 30 years, and we've always kept separate bank accounts and separate bills. It works. Really well, actually. Which is funny, since my husband is a retired banker. You'd think after 30 years we'd have one giant joint account and a color-coded spreadsheet.

Nope!

You keep track of yours, I'll keep track of mine, and everybody's happy.

Apparently, we're not the only ones doing things a little differently. WalletHub just released a survey about money and relationships, and some of the results are pretty fascinating. So let's play a little "Do You Agree?"

Do you agree that couples should have a shared budget? The survey says 84% of Americans do. That's a big number, although you can certainly have a shared budget without having every dollar in the same account. At least that's what we've done.

And what about sharing a financial account? Sixty-eight percent say it helps prevent money problems, while 32% say it actually causes more. I can see how that happens. Nothing says romance like looking at your joint account and thinking, "Who spent THAT?"

Do you agree that money arguments are worse than political arguments? This one surprised me. Seventy-two percent say financial disagreements are worse for a relationship than political ones. I'm not sure about that. Have you ever tried to discuss money and politics with the same person? That's how you end up eating dinner in separate rooms!

Do you agree that poor financial skills are a turn-off in a partner? Eighty percent said yes. So apparently, knowing how to manage your money is attractive. Forget the six-pack. Show me your credit score.

And here's another one: Do you agree that being in a relationship is more expensive than being single? Sixty-four percent said yes. I mean, of course it is! When you're single, you can have cereal for dinner, and nobody asks what you're making for dessert. Then you get married, and suddenly there are groceries, vacations, birthdays, home repairs, insurance, pets, kids, and dinners out.

But here's the question I really want to ask. Should couples combine their money, keep it separate, or do some combination of both?

In this survey, 47% said they share some financial accounts, 32% share all of them, and 21% share none.

That last group? I see you. We may be your people!

And then there's this one: Do you agree that a prenup is good for a relationship? Seventy-five percent of Americans said yes. That's interesting, because people used to treat the word "prenup" like it was practically a marriage curse. Now, it seems more people see it as financial planning.

My husband and I found something that works for us. Thirty years later, we're still married, we still rarely argue about money, and we've never had to have the dreaded conversation! “Okay... let's go through the bank statement.”

My mom and dad had a completely different system, and it worked just as well for them. My mom handled all of the finances. I'm pretty sure my dad never knew what was in the bank account, and if you had asked him how to pay a bill, he probably would have said, "Ask your mother." And you know what? It worked for them! She handled the money, he trusted her, and somehow they made it work.

Maybe that's the bigger takeaway from this whole survey. There isn't one right way for every couple to handle money. Some couples put everything together, some keep it separate, and some do a little of both.

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So now I want to know what YOU think.

Do you share everything financially with your partner?

Do you keep separate accounts?

Do you think couples should have a joint account?

Or is the secret to a happy marriage simply, "What's mine is mine, what's yours is yours, and let's not discuss what I spent at Target?"

I'm just asking.

For the sake of marital harmony!