An Open Letter To Pizza Makers in Indiana, Illinois, and Kentucky

Pizza is certainly one of my favorite foods. You can throw cheese sticks and cheese calzones at the top of my favorites too. But as much as I love everything cheesy from most restaurants in the Tri-State, there is one thing that can turn my love into hate immediately...And that my friends, is the purpose of this open letter to our pizza makers in the Tri-State.

Onions Are My Kryptonite

You read that correctly. When I am around onions, it's like I'm dying a slow death. If I happen to bite into one, I'm as good as gone. Well, actually, my meal is as good as gone. Not only will I gag and possibly throw up, but I also won't be able to finish my meal. I realize how dramatic this sounds, but I am not alone. I recently joined a Facebook group with like-minded onion haters. It is appropriately named I Hate Onions.

To All Pizza Pie Masters

When I worked at Noble Roman's way back in the day, I realized how easy it can be to make pizzas so fast that the toppings go flying. Depending on how the ingredients are set up, onions could end up canoodling with the other containers and then contaminate the whole entire pizza-making process. So, when you start on the pizza line, just keep people like me in mind, and try to keep onions in their own container.

I do my best to try and avoid any possible onion contact by only ordering cheese pizza. I will also ask for a glove change if I am there to see it happen.

Yes, I have requested for pizzas to be left uncut. Too many times there is a rogue onion on the cutter, and it ends up in my pizza slice. I had this happen to me this week with an order of cheese sticks of all things. I did smell a hint of onion but tried to drown it in cheese sauce. Then the actual onion made its way into my mouth, and then into the trash.

Pro-Tip

If you order something that doesn't require a lot of handling or cutting, you reduce the chance of having an onion ruin your day.

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The Unexpected Onion

I do a sniff test before I take a bite of my pizza. Yes, I am that weird. The very worst thing that can happen is to find an onion hidden inside a delicious calzone. A calzone that is JUST CHEESE.