This was the first Thanksgiving as an adult that I wasn't oozing with gratitude. I live my life in gratitude...but lately, it has been hard to find the forest through the trees. 2017 has been the hardest year in the last 10 years. 

Four years ago I had triplets. For the last 6 years, I have been growing a non-profit organization, Project Reveal. At first, I was doing that by myself and then with an army of amazing people.

Even with all this, this year was a bear; it takes the cake. James and I had financial struggles, Project Reveal experienced and continues to have arduous growing pains.

I am paralyzed with fear and self-doubt. The only action I know to take is making a gratitude list. I have to stay grateful; it's not only a perspective but also a lifestyle. I have failed in doing this. I've not been reminding myself of all I have to be grateful for or focusing on the positive. It's time to get back to the basics.

Someone once told me that gratitude makes what you have enough.

Here is my list for today:

1. I have a God in my life today that is everything.
2. James and his health
3. My 4 amazing, insane, healthy kids
4. My parents who have always loved and supported me even when I was unlovable
5. My friends and family who love and support me even when I am unlovable
6. That God has given me the talents, passion and tenacity that allow me to do everything outside of loving, caring and giving to numbers 1-5.

Here is the thing about my gratitude list, it changes. It changes every day, sometimes every hour. When I am happy and grateful and all is rainbows and skittles, my list is full of all the wonderful things in life such as smelling the roses, cinnamon rolls, cutting the grass and so on. However when I am broken and reaching to see the good, it is simply the basics -- and that is alright with me.

If you are having a hard time being grateful this Thanksgiving, try a gratitude list. It just may help.